Do you like sleeping? Of course you do. That’s why you’re looking at beds online. But do you really like sleeping? As in … enough to try and analyse your sleeping positions? Of course you do! Everyone is curious about what their unconscious nocturnal activities say about them. So let us at The Sleep Room introduce you to The Secret Language of Sleep by Evany Thomas.

Few bedside reads are as pretty as this one

Published by the US hipsters at McSweeney’s (run by Dave Eggers, cooler-than-thou lit-kid and author of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius), this cute little blue book is an instant must-read for anyone who has a luxury bed but still wonders about whether they’re really giving bedtime 110% devotion. More importantly, this innocent looking mini-tome promises fascinating insights into the state of your relationship … based on the positions you sleep in.

Describing our bed as ‘the one place that holds all the answers’, Thomas has even included a handy little guide to each of the positions discussed – from those that promote sleep among insomniacs to those that work well in sleeping bags.

Of course, the first position discussed is Classic Spoons, something that is flexible enough to be applied to either cosy upholstered beds or the unforgiving rainy camper’s tent. Remember this, dear readers: ‘a couple could spend an entire lifetime exploring all of Spoons’ possibilities, and indeed many do’.

Classic spoons - We salute you

Oprah was right when she featured the book in her O magazine, calling it ‘Hugely entertaining and deadpan smart’. But there is one position that truly alarms us: Bread and Spread. It is described as requiring the ‘lucky conjunction of two very specific people: someone whose soundest sleep can only be found lying under the significant warmth and weight of another person, and someone who enjoys the precarious position and high-wire balance it takes to spend an entire night lying on top of someone else’s shifting body’.  We’ll be honest: it unnerves us. Oh yes it does. But we want to know if anyone can do it. We’d only recommend trying it in one of our larger French beds, but we look forward to hearing back from any intrepid sleepers who have attempted the Bread & Spread. Bonne chance, sleepers!

We love the way so many of our customers who buy beds tend to have so many things in common: they’re upbeat, friendly, often well dressed and always appreciative of good design. Designing and selling bedroom furniture at The Sleep Room is the best job in the world. But we wonder if it’s like this for all other retailers. When we were emailed these photos the other day of customers at Wal-Mart in the US, it absolutely killed us. Hilarious. Enjoy! x

We LOVE June and July. Especially in London heading off to the park. Jumpers for goalposts. Strawberries. The whiff of charcoal. The list goes on. But Wimbledon tops the list for Melissa, our very own Head of Words.

"Hellair! One just loves to watch those lovely boys running around."

And we all love Rafa Nadal’s fighting spirit and winning ways.

"Hola hombres, arm very 'appy, ar can no believe it. Gracias."

We were extremely lucky to watch him lift the cup this year having given Tomas Berdych the run-around.

"Hola, me thinks you was rubbish, Tom, but I never say. Muchas gracias."

And afterwards we all wanted a piece of Rafa.

"Ole, ole, donde estas, Rafa?"

But that piece wasn’t forthcoming. Nonetheless we ended the day on a real high and ready for some Monday morning action selling our lovely sleigh beds . Summer times. Happy times. x

Oh, the joy, the joy! We’ve had some pearls in the past with English as a foreign language during our travels for things to go with our lovely beds. We’ve even had Italian restaurateurs showing off their existential musings. So it was with a sense of familiarity that we recently saw this little beauty trotting out of the international stable of fun.

We’re not quite sure what this particular marketing whizz has experienced in life so far. But clearly they’re not an England football fan: 2010 is pants compared to 1966. x

We know everyone loves beds, but at The Sleep Room we wanted to take a minute to praise what we put on them. Then we realised that the Victoria & Albert Museum had beaten us to it. They currently have an exhibition, Quilts 1700-2010 running until 4 July, and it truly is filled with treasures both fascinating and moving.

While we can of course appreciate the appeal of simple white linen on a gorgeous upholstered bed, we became unexpectedly entranced by the quilts on display. They range from military quilts – dating from back in the times when soldiers in 19^th century India were encouraged to use embroidery as a way of preventing excessive drinking and gambling – to quilts from modern artists such as Tracey Emin and Grayson Perry.  Although, the less we at The Sleep Room are reminded of Tracey’s My Bed the better…

To Meet My Past, Tracey Emin, 2002, The Saatchi Gallery, London (click image for larger version)

There are some truly exquisite quilts on display, including a beautiful silk cot quilt, but many of the more ornate designs were not really intended as covers for luxury beds, but more as historical documents or family heirlooms. A closer inspection of many of them tells a curious story. For example, a quilt depicting Aesop’s Fables has clearly been stitched by two different sets of hands. How can we tell? Because parts show the work of someone paying meticulous attention to detail, and other parts … not so much. One might even say slapdash.

Quilts celebrating childbirth, and for use on children’s beds also feature prominently in the exhibition, but perhaps the ones that really caught our eye are those made by prisoners at HMP Wandsworth. Poignant but not relentlessly grim, they have slogans such as “I miss my family” and of course “I didn’t do it, guv, honest” stitched on to them.

Rajah Quilt, Made by convicts on board HMS Rajah, 1841, National Gallery of Australia, Canberra

It’s a wonderful exhibition and we’d encourage anyone who had a passion for crafts or who just loves beds to go and see it. And if you don’t fancy taking our word for it, be warned that tickets are selling fast regardless – it is had over 8,000 advance bookings and local hotels are choc-a-bloc with bookings from abroad. Get in amongst the covers while you can!

Our Steve here (aka Head of Drawings seeking inspiration for our Italian luxury beds) was recently given a menu in a Venice restaurant. It gave an interesting insight into the peculiar thoughts of the person behind their marketing.  

Well, there you have it. The answer to the existential question we’ve all been pondering here for years. Grazie. x

If you’re a regular reader here you’ll have noticed how we’ve been whizzing all over the world looking for beautiful new products. We always look forward to receiving follow-up emails from new suppliers whose grasp of English isn’t quite perfect. Recent examples have included such wonderful sign-offs as:

“Thank you, sir, and may you have a good harvest.”

“I respect you, kindly. Please do the needful.”

But we were particularly intrigued when our Steve (aka Head of Drawings) sent us a picture of a sign he’d seen in an airport.

What the Dickens does this mean?

And then there was the bus we saw as we arrived to see our bone inlay beds in India.

If you’ve got any gems of your own, do send them in. We’d love it. x

Following our India trip, we went to Paris last week to check out some cool French beds. Before we post anything here about what we found, we have to admit how shallow we are as our heads were turned by a couple of celeb spots. First up was fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld. Here’s what he normally looks like when “on duty”.

Karl hot-footing it about town

But when we crossed paths in a cafe in the Marais, Karl was distinctly more low-key. Dressed casually in black T-shirt and jeans, he brought his outfit together with a simple “foulard” around the neck, a pair of shades, half a pint of Stella and a smoko.

"Leev us alone, guv, I'm gaspin 'ere"

Chloe was finding it hard to get the shot from a distance. So here’s one of our Charlie next to the man himself.

"For Pete's sake, leave me alone, Karl."

And then there was Katie Price (aka Jordan) at the Gare du Nord train station ordering a coffee .

"A cafe au bleedin' what?"

To be honest, we weren’t sure if it was really her. So we took another photo.

And another.

"Hang on, luv, we can't keep up."

And we still weren’t sure. So we decided to mind our own business, jump on the Eurostar and stick to what we know best: talking about French beds.

Lying back in one of our contemporary beds recently we read a quite brilliant new book called Cracking The Wine Code by Charlie’s old friend Lavinia Brown. It’s a concise guide to everything you ever need to know about wine in under 100 pages. Genius.

A right good read

Charlie once did work experience at a posh wine merchants in Vauxhall. Years later he suggested to Lavinia, fresh out of university, that she hook up with them. Lo and behold she became obsessed with wine and ended up working in Hong Kong and writing this wicked book.

So who says work experience when you’re 14 is a waste of time, eh?

Charlie’s lovely 14-year-old niece, Orla Kelly, spent the day with us last week.

Milk and sugar, luv?

She was meant to spend it with her dad as part of her school’s “go to work with a parent” day, but Orla thought hanging out with us would be more fun than shadowing a solicitor. Amongst other things she helped send out all our fabric swatches. We hope her work experience has given her a continued love of loafing. We loved having her here. x